Sleepless nights with painful silences

Slient Night Silent Street

Have you ever spent a sleepless night with disturbing thoughts?

Well, if you haven’t you are very lucky. But if you have, you will probably relate to this feeling.

I was alone. In the room, in my world. Some disturbing things had happened that day. Some careless mistakes, some angry reflexes, and some more shit.

I was trying to have a conversation with my conscious, but I was not sure I understood the conversation. It was complicated. I was trapped between right and wrong. But I didn’t know how right and how wrong.

There was anxiety. I wanted to do something about this problem. Yeah, problem. But I could not think of one correct solution. I could think of many melodramatic solutions but they involved using my weaknesses…. just like that day’s disturbing conversation where I had used my weakness.

I took a sleeping pill. No use. I ate something. No use. I tried to think of a nice song but couldn’t think of any. I tried to remove all negative thoughts from my mind. Didn’t work. I tried to meditate. Could not do that either.

Finally, my body gave in and I fell asleep at 6:00am. At 8:00 when the alarm woke me up, I was sleepy, but at peace.

I don’t know what happened in those 2 hours of sleep. Something I might never know. But in the morning everything was crystal clear. I knew where I stood. I knew where I was wrong and where I was right. I had realized my limitations and I knew my positives.

The world was normal again.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. pooja says:

    the same thing happened wid me the other ni8 when i was tring 2 sleep n infact i was literally very sleepy but there was some kind of fear in my mind which couldnot let me sleep i struggled the whole ni8 trying 2 think something nice but dat too dint help me finally i slept 5 in the morning dat was a ni8 which i would never 4get in my life a horrible experience.

    Like

  2. ricfly3r says:

    It has happened to me several times, especially last year and this one as well. Weird, though pills didn’t help you out, I know a person who takes them and sleep like an angel haha.
    Nice to read you cleared your mind in the end. Have a good day!

    Like

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